Mmmm, healthy CHEESCAKE? I’m all ears. Actually I’m every ear in the world. In the summer, I really amp it up at the gym, eat healthy, and feel totally cool with being shirtless/less clothed in public. My solution: Lowfat Alternatives to keep the Fat Child inside content.

Case in Point: My recipe for Rasberry Lime Cheesecake. Don’t be intimidated that it’s vegan. It’s just as good and actually way better for you.

Ingredients:

1 14-ounce package extra firm tofu silken

1 cup vegan cream cheese (Tofutti is best)

1/2 cup maple syrup

1 teaspoon vanilla

4 teaspoons lime zest

Juice of 3 limes

1 prepared vegan cookie crust or pie crust

15 fresh raspberries

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a food processor, combine tofu, cream cheese, maple syrup, vanilla, 3 teaspoons lime zest, and lime juice until smooth. (see? Easy so far…just dump
All the stuff in together)

2. Add tofu mixture to pie crust and bake about 30 minutes. Turn off oven, and allow cheesecake to sit in oven for another 40 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool, then top with fresh raspberries, if desired. Sprinkle with any extra lime zest, to be all Martha Stewart and shit.

Take a bow.

And then Eat

-Josh

Make your Foodie Voice heard!

http://www.phillymag.com/philly/vote-for-best-of-philly/

OK, so I didn’t invent Bloody Mary’s and I didn’t invent Popsicles, BUT…. Your summer’s about to get funnnnnnn.

Bloody Mary Popsicles.

1 ½ lbs tomatoes
1 celery stalk
Juice of half a lemon
4 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce (try to say this word 5 times in a row)
2 tablespoons of Dijon mustard
¼ teaspoon fresh cracked pepper
Pinch of salt
½ cup vodka

Pay Attench:

1. Place all ingredients EXCEPT
FOR THE VODKA in a food processor or a blender and process until everything is pureed. Pass mixture through a medium strainer and then return strained mixture to blender or food processor. Add vodka and process for another 20-30 seconds to blend well. Pour mixture into popsicles mold. Krunk.

2. Freeze for about 2 hours-ish or until mixture starts to solidify enough to hold a popsicle stick upright. Insert popsicle sticks and finish freezing popsicles overnight.

3. Show up to the park on Sunday and surprise your friends!

Make these and Instagram me at JOSHCANTCOOK.

-Josh

As a 32 year old man, I’ve had many dinners in my life. Sometimes I’ve had two a day, sometimes zero dinners if a vacation is rounding the bend, I’ve cooked dinners for myself, ordered, ate out, got dinners cooked for me. They’re all bullshit compared to Barclay Prime. I went with my friend, and the minute that I walked in, there’s just no way to not feel like you’re the most important person in the world. The server was outstanding, the company and weather was pretty perfect, my Delirium beer was super strong and fruity. It was a perfect night. I ordered the 24 oz. dry aged Porterhouse, and I honestly never order steak. But, when you eat at Barclay, it’s a necessity. It’s like going to Federal Donuts and ordering a Salad. We also ordered sides: Baked Truffled Mac N Cheese and also the Broccoli Rabe. Both amazing.

Save up your pennies and get ready for the best dinner of your life. I honestly can say that last night was mine. Go here if you haven’t yet.

-Josh

Rewind to age 17, when I had a date with my fancy lesbian Aunt, who wanted to take me to a nice restaurant. I never had been to a nice restaurant, as my south Philly mom limited me to Olive Garden and Outback. So, I remembered thinking “Josh, whatever you never had on this menu…order it. Think outside of the food box.” I did and I wound up and said proudly: “I would like the HEW-MUSS” ….The server and my aunt laughed at me…and ever since then, I order Hummus every chance I get, and have moved beyond my embarrassment. So here’s a recipe for it! HEWMUSS for errrbody!

There’s a new healthy-food overlord dominating the nation and it’s… the humble chickpea. In response to the growing demand for hummus, tobacco farmers in Virginia are planning to plant chickpeas (aka garbanzo beans) alongside their tobacco crops, just in case there’s a chickpea shortage due to weather where the beans usually grow — the Pacific Northwest.

This trendy investment from farmers could mean a big bonus for us consumers: new varieties of the chickpea, which means more delicious choices for the low-fat, high-protein hummus we use as a nutritious dip today. The stuff is also a healthful snack for kids.

Shutterstock.com
To jump on the hummus bandwagon (if you haven’t already!), whip up this decadent dip, which comes together in just 10 minutes and features the fresh flavors of lemon and basil. Be sure to make plenty… it will go fast.

Josh’s Lemon Basil Hummus Dip

Prep Time: 10 minutes
Serves 10, unless they greedy as fuck

1 can chickpeas
1/2 cup loosely packed fresh basil leaves
1 clove garlic, peeled
1 tbsp. lemon juice
1 tbsp. olive oil
1/4 tsp. ground black pepper
Whole-wheat toasted crackers

Preparation:

1. Drain the chickpeas, reserving 1 tablespoon of liquid. Rinse the chickpeas with cold water and drain well in a colander.

2. Place the chickpeas, reserved liquid, basil, garlic, lemon juice, oil, black pepper into a food processor OR a blender if you’re a hood bitch. Cover and process until the mixture is smooth.

3. Serve with the wheat crackers for dipping.

Blazoww, healthy snack

-Josh

Josh Schonewolf from Josh Can’t Cook will be at the Food Truck event all day, on the day of Dining out for Life! Thursday, April 25th, starting at 11am. So, not sure what to have for lunch? Then swing by Passyunk Ave, and enjoy some of the best Food Trucks in town, and know that your money will be going to ActionAIDS.

EAT UP & FIGHT AIDS

See you there!

Even though, I’m having a weird day, a really weird drink will fix that. So, after further investigation, I give you my NUI NUI recipe!

What you Need:

4oz Dark rum
Splash of vanilla syrup
Splash of cinnamon syrup
1oz lime juice
1oz orange juice
2 dashes Angostura bitters

Shake well with crushed ice and pour into a gorgeous glass.

Have a beautiful weekend!

-Josh