Doing the Things that Feel Right: S’Mores Ice Cream

I was in P-Town for Carnival week, and I think that I had ice cream 40 times, and my friend Tim made S’Mores like 50 times…..so I decided to do my research and here you are:

S’Mores Ice Cream.  I ain’t got no regrets, bitch.  This recipe has been brought to you by Calories and Jiggly Bellies.

This ice cream brings together the classic s’mores flavors of marshmallow, chocolate, and graham crackers. After you make a chocolate-custard ice cream base, stir in blobs of fluffy marshmallow crème, melted chocolate, and graham cracker pieces. The ice cream’s ready to eat as soft serve right away, but you can also freeze it for later. Don’t worry, the graham crackers actually stay crunchy!

Game plan: Be sure to get the bowl of your ice cream maker in the freezer and fully frozen before starting this recipe.

INGREDIENTS
  • Ice
  • 1 1/2 cups heavy cream
  • 1 1/2 cups whole milk
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened natural cocoa powder, sifted
  • 1/2 cup granulated sugar
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/4 teaspoon fine salt
  • 1/4 cup packed light brown sugar
  • 4 large egg yolks
  • 3 ounces milk chocolate, coarsely chopped
  • 2/3 cup marshmallow crème, such as Kraft Jet-Puffed
  • 2 whole graham crackers, crushed into 1/2-inch pieces (about 1/2 cup)
INSTRUCTIONS
  1. Prepare an ice water bath by filling a bowl halfway with ice and water; set it aside. Place a fine-mesh strainer over a large heatproof bowl; set it aside.
  2. Whisk together the cream, milk, cocoa powder, granulated sugar, vanilla, and salt in a medium saucepan. Heat the mixture over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until steam begins to rise from the surface, about 5 minutes. Meanwhile, whisk the brown sugar and egg yolks in a large bowl until smooth; set aside.
  3. While whisking constantly, slowly pour about half of the heated cream mixture into the egg yolks. Pour the cream-egg mixture back into the pan and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon or rubber spatula, until the mixture thickens slightly and coats the back of the spoon, or registers 170°F on an instant-read thermometer, about 5 minutes (do not let the mixture boil). When you draw your finger across the spoon, it should make a mark through the custard, which should not run back in on itself.
  4. Pour the mixture through the prepared strainer into the bowl and discard the contents of the strainer. Place the bowl in the ice water bath and let the custard cool, stirring occasionally, until it reaches room temperature, about 20 minutes.
  5. Press a sheet of plastic wrap directly onto the surface of the custard to prevent a skin from forming. Refrigerate it until completely chilled, at least 4 hours.
  6. Freeze the chilled custard in an ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s instructions. Meanwhile, place the chocolate in a small microwave-safe bowl and microwave it in 20-second intervals, stirring between intervals, until melted and smooth.
  7. When the ice cream is ready, turn off the ice cream maker and remove the bowl. Drop the marshmallow crème into the ice cream in large spoonfuls. Drizzle in the melted chocolate and add the graham crackers.
  8. Using a rubber spatula, fold the ingredients into the ice cream until evenly combined. Serve immediately for a soft ice cream, or transfer the mixture to an airtight container and freeze until solid. Allow the ice cream to sit at room temperature for 15 minutes before serving if frozen solid. The ice cream can be kept for up to 1 month.

What I eat when I’m Shirtless in Public

It’s a sad state of affairs when we don’t eat. The summer makes me want to zip my mouth closed and force my abs to pop through. But! With the help of this amazing and easy breezy recipe, your pants won’t need a stretch-band.

Green apple rings with peanut butter and granola. They only take a minute to make, are healthy, and won’t give you a bloated feeling in warm weather.

So un-bloat and take off your shirt. I believe in green apples…I have one tattooed on my arm.

-Josh

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Josh’s Vegan Rasberry-Lime Cheesecake

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Mmmm, healthy CHEESCAKE? I’m all ears. Actually I’m every ear in the world. In the summer, I really amp it up at the gym, eat healthy, and feel totally cool with being shirtless/less clothed in public. My solution: Lowfat Alternatives to keep the Fat Child inside content.

Case in Point: My recipe for Rasberry Lime Cheesecake. Don’t be intimidated that it’s vegan. It’s just as good and actually way better for you.

Ingredients:

1 14-ounce package extra firm tofu silken

1 cup vegan cream cheese (Tofutti is best)

1/2 cup maple syrup

1 teaspoon vanilla

4 teaspoons lime zest

Juice of 3 limes

1 prepared vegan cookie crust or pie crust

15 fresh raspberries

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a food processor, combine tofu, cream cheese, maple syrup, vanilla, 3 teaspoons lime zest, and lime juice until smooth. (see? Easy so far…just dump
All the stuff in together)

2. Add tofu mixture to pie crust and bake about 30 minutes. Turn off oven, and allow cheesecake to sit in oven for another 40 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool, then top with fresh raspberries, if desired. Sprinkle with any extra lime zest, to be all Martha Stewart and shit.

Take a bow.

And then Eat

-Josh

Poptails: The Funnest thing to Bring to the Park

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OK, so I didn’t invent Bloody Mary’s and I didn’t invent Popsicles, BUT…. Your summer’s about to get funnnnnnn.

Bloody Mary Popsicles.

1 ½ lbs tomatoes
1 celery stalk
Juice of half a lemon
4 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce (try to say this word 5 times in a row)
2 tablespoons of Dijon mustard
¼ teaspoon fresh cracked pepper
Pinch of salt
½ cup vodka

Pay Attench:

1. Place all ingredients EXCEPT
FOR THE VODKA in a food processor or a blender and process until everything is pureed. Pass mixture through a medium strainer and then return strained mixture to blender or food processor. Add vodka and process for another 20-30 seconds to blend well. Pour mixture into popsicles mold. Krunk.

2. Freeze for about 2 hours-ish or until mixture starts to solidify enough to hold a popsicle stick upright. Insert popsicle sticks and finish freezing popsicles overnight.

3. Show up to the park on Sunday and surprise your friends!

Make these and Instagram me at JOSHCANTCOOK.

-Josh